The Big Question: Wedding Gifts

You have just been invited to your seventh wedding of the year and you are balking under the pressure to give a gift. 

Is there a reliable sum or philosophy that will give you an answer to the question, how much is appropriate to give for a wedding gift?  Sadly the answer is NO, but I have a couple ideas that may give you some peace of mind.

(photo from giggling gertie)

(photo from giggling gertie)

An article was published today in the Toronto Star titled “We asked you answered on wedding gifts” which surveyed Torontonians regarding what people deemed as an appropriate wedding gift dollar value.  The upside is that there seems to be a consensus among the “acquaintance-wedding” gift: $50. 

However one might also subscribe to the philosophy, gift within your means, a philosophy I tend to agree with.  Similalry,there is the traditional notion, to gift the dollar value of the head cost per plate but if you have never planned an event a) how do you know what the cost is? b) the cost depends on the venue, caterer, seasonality of food (and the list goes on) this is not sound means to estimate value c) this is a very utilitarian way of looking at a gift and takes all specialness out of the act. 

I think the best way to make a decision is look at your relationship to the couple and give what you feel is appropriate based on your current financial system.   If you want to do something that doesn’t display a dollar value like writing a cheque, there is always the option to give a present- either off the couple’s registry if there are still items left, or be creative (wine delivered, flowers delivered, charitable donation). 

The moral of the story is that an industry standard could never be developed for  your junior high school best friend’s wedding who is more like an acquaintance than a good friend but you have history and your parents are friends? If you can follow the complexity of that relationship train, you know what I’m talking about. 

Gift within your means so you are not ruminating about it all night.

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2 Responses to “The Big Question: Wedding Gifts”

  1. Bec says:

    I agree with you, I gift based on my budget and on how close I am to the couple.
    I also try to give a practical gift with a personalized touch. By that I mean I get something they “need” like towels etc. but I have them embroidered with the couples name or initial to make them special. The last ones I ordered were embossed with the couples initial. I saw them here on line at “elegantlinenspc” com, look under towels. Sometimes I can only get a few done but they seem to have more “gift impact”, less being more because they are more personal and memorable.

  2. Rochell says:

    I agree with the author and the former comment. I always gift based on the relationship. The gift must be special for such a special day but very practical. Things like throws, blankets, robes or other linens will always have a practical use and are much appreciated, especially when the couple is younger and just starting out. This year I’m keeping a theme for gift giving: Throws!! They are practical and make good accent pieces. Check out http://www.throwblanketshoppe.com for a wonderful selection and great quality. Your brides and grooms will thank you for them-trust me! Happy gift giving!

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